WILLIAM P. CANNON Multimedia Editor

Let your path roll out, before you turn away

2007-12-07T10:39:00.000-05:00

I wrote this as a response to a friend's blog post about his experience and concerns in school. I thought I'd share it here because I feel it is relevant for all of us.

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When I was in school at Ohio University, the first 2-1/2 years were mostly non-photojournalism classes. But, they kept saying, you'll need this knowledge to help you understand the world that you will document for the rest of your life. They were right.

Later, when Ken and I worked together, I loved the subtle differences in our shooting. Much was personal vision and talent, but there was clearly something that stemmed from different educational models.

Ken proves beyond a doubt that a specifically designated PJ school is not the only way to go if you want to be a PJ. He has better control and instinctive understandings of light than I do, and is much better at portraits. Both are things that I spent too little time on in school. He also has far more fine darkroom experience that helps him form and capture his vision of the world.

I don't feel slighted a bit. I got a great PJ education and it has serves me well. The key is that it was the right education for ME.

If you feel that the curriculum is not heading in the direction you want, consider other institutions. But, be sure that you don't spend so much time second guessing yourself and your school that you ultimately defeat yourself.

Questioning this path is good, but be sure to give it time to roll out ahead of you before you turn away.

It is not OUR story

2007-11-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a short post, but I need to get this off my chest because it has been bugging me this week.

It is very common for journalists to refer to their current assignment as "my story." What they really mean is "my assignment." But the mental habit of owning the story can be dangerous when dealing with the community.

The fact is, the stories we tell are not ours. We own the form, the image, the byte. We do not own the story. When an person is killed and his/her loved ones mourn, it is their pain, their love, their loss. How deep into their world that we are allowed to tread is entirely up to them.

So own the work, the assignment and responsibility. Don't own the story.

New media ethics

2007-11-17T10:01:00.000-05:00

I am working on a company-wide committee to write the ethics statements and policies for our corporation. It is a fascinating thing to be able to spend time examining the rules of engagement that we are supposed to follow on a daily basis. Through the ongoing process, I have discovered three things:

All of the ethical rules or statements that have applied to print are valid for new media.
Most of the "new issues" related to multimedia can actually be addressed by saying, "What if this were in print?"
Most newsrooms apply ethics well, but do not have enough open discussions about the changing face of the media.

Who inspires you?

2007-10-10T22:44:00.000-04:00

I recently gave an interview to someone who was studying the business and the duties involved in my position. It was a lot of fun to discuss the job I have and the way our industry is changing. There was one question late in the interview that brought out of me an answer that even I was a little surprised about.

The question: What photographer inspires you?

There are many extremely talented photojournalists that have influenced me throughout my career. Some are famous on an international scale. Some are known regionally. But when I faced that question, one clear professional stood out.

When I was working in Lancaster, Ohio, I had the privilege to work with Ken Ritchie. Throughout the difficult time we shared at that newspaper, he was a good friend with a great attitude. Remarkably, it is his work after leaving Lancaster that makes him someone who truly inspires me.

Ken made a choice that many egos could not handle. He went to a smaller newspaper in Madison, Indiana. He did this because what mattered to him most was his family and the purity of his photojournalism. Ken took a leap to a place that most photographers would joke about. After all, little newspapers cannot afford a lot of great photo gear, computers software and a large staff to back you up. Anyone who has done time at a small daily newspaper knows that the work can be brutal. But Ken knew the people in Madison and thought that he could be happy there.

Since he began in Madison more than a year ago, the soul of his work has continued to grow and thrive. He has produced numerous stories that are derived from his community contacts. He also takes a complete interest over the stories he tells and does not wait for the next photo assignment hand-out.

He has shown that the quality of ones photojournalism is NOT linked to the circulation or annual budget of the newspaper. It is about opening your eyes to the community in which you live and realizing that there is so much dramatic news happening around the world that we often forget to look down the street to see the amazing people that surround us. It is also about putting aside the idea of ranking the news according to the traditional ideas of "hard" versus "soft" news.

One great example of Ken's approach to photojournalism is the small but of work he recently did on a story about a woman who recently died in a local nursing home. In his blog he noted "We just felt that we needed to let people know that she existed."

I think, for me, that says it all. Thanks for the inspiration Ken.

Who inspires you?

Newspaper economics

2007-09-22T10:52:00.000-04:00

Since I am buried in the PGA tournament this week, I thought I'd share an entry from a blog that I find to be very insightful.

I this entry, he describes how the economics of news delivery have shifted and why people won't pay directly for the online content because they already pay for the delivery via their internet provider. Delivery is included in the price of the printed product.

Check it out:

Reinventing the Economics of News
by Scott Karp · September 21st, 2007

Habits hard to set

2007-08-31T23:05:00.000-04:00

The key to creating a habit is doing something consistently and for enough time that it becomes second nature.

If this is true, then why is it so hard to create habits among those I am expected to lead? For months, I have been trying to make multimedia a daily part of our photo department culture. It is certainly part of my work culture but getting that into others is very difficult. No one in photo volunteers to shoot a daily video. No one says, "I can shoot some footage while I am there." For an editor, the need to constantly push the staff is very tiring and frustrating.

I think the first challenge is overcoming "It's how we've always done it." I have spent the last year battling this frame of mind and I think I have mostly overcome it. It's a normal pattern that we all get into from time to time. The problem is that is so contrary to progress because it leaves people looking back instead of forward.

The second problem is that there is little flexibility for scheduling in today's newsrooms. The cuts that Wall Street have impressed on our companies have made us more efficient and profitable but they have also made training and adaptation very difficult. I cannot easily set aside enough time each day so that a staffer can approach assignments deliberately and carefully with a new frame of mind. If I push them into a corner and expect them to think in a new way it is not going to be successful. They are naturally going to to react with their old habits that make sure they get the job done.

My new mission is to see to it that I find a way around these obstacles. I am going to work Monday (Labor Day) so I can sit quietly and get the mental space I need. Then I can figure out how to give my employees the same opportunity. We've got to push through.

Storm front rolls in

2007-08-24T21:44:00.001-04:00

Just a quick shot of a storm front rolling in earlier tonight.

Freedom dies with a click

2007-08-16T22:05:00.001-04:00

I was recently preparing to file a request for media credentials for an upcoming professional sports event and I was amazed at how easy it was to let some of the core values of good journalism slip away.

(In this blog entry, I will leave the details vague in order to protect myself and my employer from any foul tempered reaction.)

Here's the issue:
After registering on the organizations web site, I proceeded to a screen that displays the details of the credentialing rules and regulations. At the bottom of the screen there were three buttons "Accept" Print" and "Decline" The text of the regulations was not easy to read so, naturally, I clicked print.

After six pages of text printed out, I began to read the fine print. Though it was nothing that I hadn't already heard of, the requirements of the contract were disgraceful. Not only are there only a short number of days that the material can remain on a news web site, but the organization wants us to sign SOLE OWNERSHIP over to them. That's right, we shoot it, they own it.

There are always specific concerns held by organizations that are allowing the media into their world. Certainly, the events are owned and operated by the organizers and I respect that. But this request is WAY OVER THE LINE. No ethical journalist would sign such a document. Or so I thought.

It turns out that the design of the web site is such that most of this area's journalists just took care of business by clicking the "Accept" button and electronically signing the documents. In fact, the ones I spoke to freely admit they "just clicked."

This is not acceptable. Good journalists have an obligation to read the documents put before them and to FIGHT for the ownership of their work. The ownership of that material is inseparable from the free and objective work journalists must provide. This is why so many people are concerned about Rupert Murdoch buying the Wall Street Journal. It is the same concept. We must protect our freedoms and credibility and selling out is not the way to do it.

We own our work so that the readers know no one else owns us.

For more on this issue go to www.nppa.org or www.apphotomanagers.org .

Stay valuable

2007-08-06T23:27:00.000-04:00

After moving to New York one year ago tomorrow, I met a Photo Editor in Binghamton named Wayne Hansen. He is a guy who speaks his mind. The good news is that he knows what he's talking about.

Throughout the past year, he has been nice enough to check in on me and help me work through my first year on this job. He is one of the only true peers I can call to discuss this job.

Last Thursday I found out Wayne was laid off. There's no way to make such an event fair. You must be able to think and perform for the new world of photojournalism and you must be lucky. Wayne knows video and photos and he knows how to tell a story. He was a key part of the Information Center transition his newspaper went through. He has the skills but, for now, the luck slipped.

Good luck Wayne.
Good luck to all of us.

Why enter?

2007-08-06T21:26:00.000-04:00

When AP contest time came around this year I was clear on my plan. I was going to make sure that my newspaper was well represented by the photo staff that I supervise.

I made sure everyone had the rules, formatting procedures and deadlines so we got the photos into the contest. I carefully checked each person's cutlines to make sure they not only were written to AP style but that they clearly described the content of the image. It is important to include solid cutlines because the context of the story and the typical presentation are not a part of the submission.

In the end, on the last day, I finally grabbed a few images of my own that I could remember. It wasn't done nearly as carefully, just quickly.

Last night I get a call to tell me that I got 1st place in N.Y. for Spot News photo (under 50K circulation).

Damn, that's cool.

Fulfill the fourth desire

2007-08-02T22:28:00.001-04:00

We are all on the track of the new media. Some newspapers are further ahead than others, but most realize that the new media is where our long-term future lies. It is not a cash cow yet, but in order to make it one we have to figure out how to make it work.

Among the things the readers want web sites to serve them are:

1. Fresh, up-to-date news.
2. News that is easy to read. Few will read a 40-inch story online.
3. Availability of content on demand now and later.
4. Seamless, responsive and easily navigable interactive content.
5. Original content that is not in print or that expands the print content in an easily digestible way.

Most of the web sites for daily newspapers are delivering four of these right now. Some to a lesser extent than others, but the process is moving forward.

There is one where most newspapers seem to be struggling. It is #4. As we move into the new media age with text, video, flash, audio, photos and more, news sites often offer out readers clunky presentations that fail meet one of the readers' most important desires.

Example: The reader clicks on a main story link. Inside they often find small text links that point to photo galleries or videos. These links are often underneath a flashing ad that, while necessary, makes the links hard to see.

If readers do find the link, they will view the content and usually end up at either a dead end or rolling into similar media from a totally different story.

There's no problem with offering readers a way to jump away from the story to pursue more of the current medium. That's a good thing. But readers often want to get the rest of the story and that is certainly what journalists want.

There is a frequent failure by news sites to bring the readers full circle. Readers are shown stories, then either photos, video or audio. But after the new media content, readers frequently don't have a clear way back to the referring story.

In the next stage of the internet, we need remember that the World Wide Web has to be spun in a way that the readers are in control but have an autopilot at their beckon call. News needs to be presented with technical sophistication that is currently rare.

There is great hope. Programs like Java and Flash are allowing the multimedia packages to be built in a seamless way that fulfills the fourth desire. This is the way of the future. The problem right now is that the programming demands are too high for most newsrooms to use them daily.

Even with a current content management system (CMS), we can do a better job of using good page design, clear links and iconic photos or graphics that tie the elements together and keep readers in the loop as long as they want. Don't just link out, link back.

What if you are SOLD?

2007-04-29T19:00:00.000-04:00

We have spent the last 9 months pressing forward with the implementation of the Information Center. Now, as we make the final changes we find out...we are being sold. With some cash and a lot of credit another company is buying the Observer-Dispatch and several other newspapers from for $410 million.

After hearing of the news, my mind reeled with the possible ramifications. What about my career with Gannett? Vacation? Benefits? The truth is that we don't know. We won't know until the papers are signed. Until then we wait and wonder.

As we sit in a holding pattern, it is easily to let my mind worry about "what if." But the fact is that "what if" is not a negative thought unless I make it one. There are many wonderful possibilities that I can try to embrace with the new owners. Maybe we can finally redesign the web site without waiting for Gannett's permission. Maybe the 60 year-old press will finally get rebuilt or even replaced.

We have a lot of unknowns ahead. I guess I have no excuse for not blogging do I?

The "IC"

2007-01-26T21:49:00.000-05:00

Gannett is in the process of taking the newsroom and creating the "Information Center."

Now, I can't say that I think the IC is the best name for the new world order but I also have not yet found a better option. Thus be it resolved that the IC has it. In fact, I think the purpose behind the name is valid.

If you want people to change the function of the newsroom, oops I mean Information Center, then you have to help them keep a modern frame of mind. The term IC serves as a way for us to remember daily that we are not, and cannot, be the newsroom of the past. We must be agile and respond quickly to news. We must post online as soon as we have a story and photos and use the print product to reach our long term audience and those wishing for greater depth in our stories.

Some companies are taking it slow and waiting to see how the markets fare. We are on a much faster track and I like it.

Keep face to face in the hi-tech newsroom

2007-01-26T21:36:00.000-05:00

It has been quite a process over the past few months as I have become a platypus in the newsroom. After completing training I began to prepare and teach a curriculum to the staff of our newspaper.

Now, this is actually very exciting since it is all new and I am getting to make a lot of changes and bring forth a lot of ideas. But the thing I was concerned about in the beginning has become an issue that I must face daily.

We are a newsroom in which nearly everyone is being trained to shoot/produce video using Avid XpressPro software. That means that I am assigning and managing a variety of people across several Editorial departments.

Sports, metro, features and photo are all involved and are all assigned video projects each week. Once I know the assignments I want to hand out, I still have to find a way to coordinate the schedules and assignments of each department and still make the goals set for/by me.

Communication. It is a must in the digital revolution. The increase in technological abilities has made us all very productive but it does not replace face to face chats. As I am scheduling these many departments, I am finding that the best way to handle the hi-tech assignments is through low-tech talks. Face to face and at each persons desk.

Not only is this a great way to ensure things go smoothly but it also seems to encourage others to more freely visit me. Thus, when issues with the many assignments and departments arise, I am usually in the know about problems.

So, while the chaos will probably not end soon, at least I have found a way to know (most) of what is going on.

I HAD TO PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH

2006-10-14T18:42:00.000-04:00

As a photojournalist it is always important to me that my photographs have a purpose.
They are intended to document the human condition — good or bad— and to empower the viewer.
The pictures cannot be about me. I must remain on the periphery and capture the moment. That is the core of my ethical code. It is not negotiable.
As I was returning from a recent meeting in Rochester, I saw the Thruway traffic ahead of me slow down and break left.
I knew, from more than a decade of photojournalism experience, that a crash just happened.
I immediately thought about how to handle it.
Approach cautiously, stay out of the way, shoot sharp, get the moment, get the story and get to the newsroom.
This approach becomes instinct. It not only makes me a reliable photojournalist but it protects me from the natural emotions someone experiences when observing tragedy.
While the traffic headed left, I slowed and looked to pull off to the right.
Just ahead on the berm I saw a car facing the wrong direction. It had clearly been flipped over at least once.
As my eyes scanned the scene, I also saw the victim on her back about 20 feet up the hill. It looked very serious.
I pulled over just past the crash scene and hopped out to do as I am trained.
I had a job to do right? I had to document the scene and report the story to my readers.
I had to call in the basic information, gather the rest and return to the newsroom to finish.
But this crash wasn’t someone else’s moment. I wasn’t on the periphery. I was in the moment.
We were on the highway several miles from a city and the only people in sight were the victim and another car that also stopped.
It was my time to take the ethics and discipline I apply to my work and apply it to life.
I grabbed a fire extinguisher, my first aid kit, a blanket and rubber gloves and ran up the hill.
My documentation of that event is through the investment in the life of an injured and frightened woman who needed help.
All I know is that she was very frightened —she kept calling for her husband— and she was flown to Rochester with head injuries.
Once the paramedics and police arrived, I told a State Trooper that I was not a witness to the actual crash and I left.
I didn’t get her name, age or details about what happened.
I never touched my camera, notebook or mobile phone.
It had not been negotiable.

VALUE COMMUNITY NEWS

2006-09-03T22:55:00.000-04:00

When I began to report more community level news I was frustrated because that's not what I envisioned as "real" photojournalism. This is not an uncommon pattern of thought. I often talk to other photographers about covering community news and it is usually seen as something that has to be overcome in order to get to the "good" assignments.

But the community level news is where photojournalists have the greatest advantage over the large media outlets like television. We know which councilman represents the east end of Main Street. We know where the Pee Wee football teams practice and the name of the coach who has lead them for two decades.

This knowledge is more valuable than we typically realize. Major corporations spend millions of dollars trying to get to know a community. They do market research and studies to learn the demographics of the people we often know by name. We have the ability to look deep inside a community and see its soul. We have access that is amazing and we are usually trusted a lot more than the "media" in general.

Our communities grant us a chance to let photojournalism thrive. It is the best possible way to document the lives of the readers. Pictures allow us to capture the way people look and feel and preserve it for generations to come.

One of the most rewarding stories I ever covered came out of a high school graduation that I was begrudgingly covering. While I was shooting along, I noticed a unique person among the graduates. A few basic questions later and I had begun a 6-month project.

Keeping in mind what a privilege it is to do this job, is community journalism really so bad?

The Digital Newsroom: Splitting the "nut"

2006-08-29T23:00:00.000-04:00

As Photo Editor, I am in a leadership role as our industry rolls through major changes.
Beyond ensuring quality daily news coverage, I am now responsible for taking a talented photo staff and preparing them to be part of the digital newsroom. I don't mean just digital cameras. We've been there a long time. I mean thinking from morning to night about both the print and the electronic product.
Through each step of the day, we are examining how we can take the information we have to the readers through the online product and still retain some information that is exclusive to our printed newspaper.
There are many that think the two are contrary and that this convergence is not good. I think those people are incorrect.
There is no escaping the fact that the age of the internet and the iPod have forever changed the way we expect information to be delivered.
How often do you actually seek out the weather in the daily newspaper? Do you open it to page 2 to get the forecast or do you login to an online site or the Weather Channel? The fact is that some information is expected to be immediately current. Throughout the day, we are expected to update our online news product so that readers are kept up to speed. That means that a breaking news story at 9 a.m. will often be updated 2 or 3 times before we go to press.
That is a major challenge to reporters who are accustomed to having the whole day to work on a story. Now, the main elements that they used in their lede are now old news.
But this is where print journalists can excel. Headlines and "nut graphs" (the main point of a story) are far from the whole story. There is greater detail that must be carefully examined and put into context. The time between the morning news event and the start of the presses is usually well spent as they journalists contact sources, dig deeper and find the small pieces of information (the core of the nut) that you will never get from television or afternoon web updates. They can often tell you the "why" that is left out of the news summary you get through the high-speed media.
So, in the end, when the two products are used to compliment each other, there is a benefit for the media industry and the reader.
As a visual journalist, I have to think about how I will populate both products and still keep the reader engaged.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Job Change Official

2006-08-29T22:55:00.000-04:00

It has been weeks since I placed a single thought here because I have been busy transplanting myself and my family to New York.
After 5 years in Lancaster, Ohio, I am now the Photo Editor at the Observer-Dispatch in Utica , NY. This is a chance to advance my careerl, challenge myself more and spend more time with my wonderdul family.

OPENING NIGHT

2006-07-21T00:44:00.000-04:00

It is opening night again for the Lancater Festival. It is also the 2nd time I've had to cover this 10 day festival alone.

Here's a soundslides show I whipped together between 11 p.m. and 12 a.m. tonight.

--Bill

WELL, THE EMBEDDING FAILED. I'M DO DANG TIRED. I'LL TRY TOMORROW.

You can just go to this url to see it.

http://www.lancastereaglegazette.com/legacy/multimedia/immortal_mozart/index.html

SHOOTING SQUARED

2006-07-02T13:18:00.000-04:00

The Bloom-Carroll softball team ended its season at the top Saturday by defeating the Warren Champions in the Division III state finals in Ashland.

This is my first movie shot while simultaneously shooting still images. It was a difficult combination. I'd rather set aside more time or bring help. Neither medium was as strong as it could have been.

09/22/07 UPDATE: The link to the video is dead so I pulled it. -WPC

WHAT'S UP THERE?

2006-06-15T09:22:00.000-04:00

Trey Starner, 4, Lancaster, looks into the nose of a deputy's horse Tuesday, June 13, 2006 during the Adventures in Safety program at the Fairfield County Fairgrounds in Lancaster. The program is sponsored by the Fairfield County Sheriff's Office and includes the Ohio Department of Natural Resources, local utilities and the Pleasantville Fire Department. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/The Lancaster Eagle-Gazette)

DRILLING IT IN

2006-05-26T01:14:00.000-04:00

Senior Daniel Wampler drills his takeoff as part of a relay team during an Amanda-Clearcreek track practice Tuesday at Amanda. Daniel qualified for this week's regional track meet at Pickerington North as part of the 400- and 800-relay teams. E-G photo by William P. Cannon

Fight the good fight

2006-05-07T13:59:00.000-04:00

This is kind of how things have felt the past few weeks. >>>

On to the point of this post...

I recently had a situation in which I had to argue ethics over a proposal that seemed to be very clearly across the line for editorial photographers.

In short, work created by news photographers for news production was to be used in paid advertisementss as an incentive for businesses to sign on. I cannot elaborate with specifics.

I have always claimed to be a bit of a purist when it comes to photojournalism ethics. For me it is simple. If you cannot trust my photos, then you cannot trust me. What I show a reader is true unless clearly marked otherwise.

I believe editorial news images should not be used outside of editorial publishing. It is a slippery slope. How can someone believe in my photo if it is associated directly with the endorsement of a product? Advertisements use controlled images to create a feeling and impression about a product. They need not be based in reality.

Reality is really where the problem lies. The work that editorial photographers produce does not pay for itself. In order to recoupe the costs, ads are sold and published. This is not a problem until the folks from the ad side realize they make and control the money. That is how we end up with a fight.

The argument is usually "the company owns the photo." True. But the company should not own ethics. As long as we keep fighting, they will belong to the journalists.

APOLOGIES

2006-05-01T15:57:00.000-04:00

My apologies to those who come to hear my mental blatherings on a semi-regular basis.
After some frightening complications, we are happy to announce the birth of our son, Graeme.

After a bit of recovery time, I plan to kick this site into gear.

-- Bill

GOOD AUDIO HARD TO CAPTURE

2006-03-28T09:26:00.000-05:00

I recently began refining my multimedia skills. There is no question that the newspaper business must get a grip on new media.

While I am learnin Flas at home, it is not an option at work right now. For that reason, we purchased SoundSlides. It is a simple program that allows an audio track to run behind slide show. It exports the project into a Flash Player file. Frankly, it is a great tool for those working on deadline. We edit the audio using Audacity and the system works well.

The greatest challenge for me is the capture of quality sound. While there are better recorders than what I have, the biggest challenge is not a shortcoming of the unit. It is the environment in which we record. Now, I suppose that a higher quality mic would make a difference. Still, just as when shooting pictures, a poor environment does not often yield excellent results.

Here is my most recent work. It is from a high school musical. The recorder was only a few feet from the performers but the acoustics of the hall were terrible. I am pretty please with the editing but the recording leaves much to be desired.

Anything Goes

STATE OF THE NEWS MEDIA

2006-03-16T14:13:00.000-05:00

I am a big proponent of public broadcasting. Yesterday, KQED from San Francisco did a very interesting piece called the State of the News Media. It was based on a report that was released last Monday.

Anyone involved in the business should check out the program and the report. I linked to the iTunes podcast.

GUILTY THOUGHTS

2006-03-15T09:16:00.000-05:00

The Liberty Union girls basketball team takes on Fairbanks during their Division III sectional tournament game Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006 at Licking Valley High Schoool in Pataskala. Liberty Union defeated Fairbanks 45-31.(Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

I think every photojournalist feels it when we near the end of the season. It is the fatigue from shooting hundreds of ball games that leads to the quiet hope that teams will start to lose.

Don't get me wrong. When I really think about it, I sincerely hope the kids will go as far as possible in their tournaments. That's what is really best. In fact, when I get inside a gym or on a field, all I can do is think about my work and feel the energy the players and the crowd emit. That is always a good feeling.

Still, after so much coverage, the desire to move on to the next sport grows daily. Fortunately, the state finals are not too far away. Either way, there is an end and a new beginning.

LET THE MADNESS BEGIN

2006-02-17T00:51:00.000-05:00

This week marks the beginning of the girls basketball tournaments. Here's my inaugural shot.

GRAPPLING WITH WRESTLING:

2006-02-12T12:20:00.000-05:00

There are few sports that I don't truly enjoy shooting. I find that each new season arrives just as I am becoming burned out of the current one.

Wrestling is one sport that can come and go with little fanfare on my part.

Amanda Clearcreek's Max Knoll tries to break himself free Thursday, Feb. 9, 2005 from Fairfield Union's Alex Minnard during the 103-pound match of their tri-meet with Bloom-Carroll at Fairfield Union High School in Richland Township. The FU team won both sections of the meet and secured their MSL championship. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

It's not that I think it isn't a valid sports. I see the athletes on the mat and there is no question in my mind that they are talented and very hard working. Their detailed knowledge of the body's ability to bend and move is impressive.

Still, as I shoot, I find my mind straying away from the subject in a way that no other sport allows. It just doesn't grab me.

As we enter the tournament season, I must push myself much like the athletes. I have to focus on the match at hand and try to anticipate. I must remember to ask questions of the athletes and coaches to ensure that I am not missing an important aspect simply because of my own taste.

So here we go...It's time to throw down.

WHO'S GOING TO JAIL?

2006-01-28T10:38:00.000-05:00

Over the past week, I ahve watched my friend Ken suffer through several days of covering multiple trials. IT made me think of one of the last trials I covered. (I work nights.)

The guy in the middle is the one going to prison but the attorney is the one feeling low.

Attorney James Linehan, front, lowers his head as his client David E. South, 43, center, looks at him while the judge reads the verdict Feb. 2, 2005 inside the Fairfield County Court of Common Pleas in Lancaster. The jury found South guilty on two felony counts of rape and three felony counts of gross sexual imposition. He now faces life in prison. South had no reaction to the verdic. (William P.Cannon / Lancaster Eagle-Gazette)

Photo of the Month

2006-01-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

December 2005, AP Ohio Photo of the Month
Two adults were seriously injured and one sustained minor injuries after a car and school bus collided Monday Dec. 5, 2005 on Stage Road in Good Hope Township. The crash happened around 3 p.m. when a bus from the Logan Hocking school district collided with a Chrysler LeBaron on the one-lane township road. The two adults were flown by helicopter to Grant Medical Center in Columbus. The third was taken to Hocking Valley Hospital. The driver and passengers on the bus were not injured. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

NEW TERRITORY:

2006-01-02T19:17:00.000-05:00

I recently completed a 6-month project. I followed the progress of a 19-year-old woman from her heart transplant to her recovery and entrance back into her life.

It was a challenge and a privilege to work on this story.

As the project came to a close last week and she returned to "normal" life, I realized I had an opportunity to try something new.

I bought a $90 Sony digital recorder and taped an interview. I asked her to tell her story and I asked a lot of personal questions.

I then used the free software that Sony included with the recorder to edit the audio and prepare it for the web. I used Flash MX and put the stills together with audio clips.

I know this is not a fancy as many things you see online. However, with no training and seven hours of time, I was able to produce something that is at least functional.

I truly hope I can take what I learned and produce additional AV content that is more technically compelling. It'd be nice if I could get the necessary hardware and software at work and really do this well.

Thoughts.....

Link: A Brush with Angels
Full Story

2005 PICTURES OF THE YEAR:

2006-01-02T19:07:00.000-05:00

Here are a few of my POY for 2005. You can see thers rest of mine and Ken's at

http://www.lancastereaglegazette.com/PHOTOGALLERIES

Two Fisher Catholic football players run down the field Friday, Nov. 11, 2005 during their practice at Fisher Catholic High School in Lancaster. The team plays Saturday night against Newark Catholic in the Division VI regional semi-finals at Fairfield Union High School in Richland Township. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

Lauren Nemeth, 3, of Sugar Grove, left, watches from the front seat Thursday, April 14, 2005 as Corey Clark, workforce development director for Job and Family Services installs her cat seat under the watchful eye of Nate Nemeth, 8 months, during a ree car seat check at the Job and Family Services Circus Night in Lancaster.(Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

Fairfield Christian’s Justin Hutchinson dives for a bunt Tuesday, April 12, 2005 during their game at Beaver’s Field in Lancaster. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

MOST SACRED MOMENTS:

2005-12-17T21:44:00.000-05:00

Any photojournalist who truly cares about the profession has had moments when they felt the need to capture an image and the need to respect the subject's privacy were clearly at odds. That was the situation for me last spring when I was assigned to cover the funeral and burial of this county's only casualty of the war in Iraq.

Cpl. Dustin Derga, 24, pf Pickerington, Ohio was serving with Lima Company (that's leema) in Udaydi, Iraq May 8, 2005 when he was killed during Operation Matador, a mission that cost the lives of eight Lima marines. Eight days later, his family and community laid him to rest at a cemetery in Reynoldsburg, Ohio.

The thoughts and emotions that flooded my mind and soul left me somewhat stunned as I began to work. This is far from the first such funeral I have covered but it felt like the first. I think this is a good thing. I think that is means I am not allowing myself to become too detached from the lives of the people I am covering. Their pain is real and to forget that is to do them and the fallen soldier a great dishonor.

Robert Derga, left, follows, Monday, May 16, 2005 behind a casket carrying the remains of his son Dustin Derga, 24, of Pickerington, outside the Peace United Methodist Church in Pickerington. Dustin died May 8 during combat operations in Udaydi, Iraq. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

Once the ceremony began, I was pleased to notice that I was mentally focused and ready to do fulfill my obligation to my readers and to the family. As I began to work, I found that the access given to was inside the church. Outside the church we were welcomed to stand about 25 feet from the sidewalk on which the pall bearers brought Derga's body to the hearse.

I worked the scene for the standard images and then pushed for more. Thanks to my relationships with people at the local school system, I was able to add some unique images by getting ahead of the funeral procession and shooting as it passed an area junior high school which sent all of its students to line the street in a display of respect.

Students from Ridgeview Junior High School stand quietly Monday, May 16, 2005 along Hill Road in Pickerington as they watch the funeral procession of Dustin Derga, 24, of Pickerington, who died May 8 during combat operations in Udaydi, Iraq. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

The art was pretty good and I was satisfied. Yet, as I edited, my PJ mentality softened and I began to think about the family and how the images from this day would impact them.

This brings me to the reason I am writing about this today. This past week, our newspaper was contacted by the family. As they reflected on the trauma of the past year, they recalled the coverage we had and decided to see if they could get prints and a CD of the images.

Reprint requests are quite common in this business. But I never cease to be surprised by the reaction of families to life-changing events. As painful as that day was, the Derga family wanted to remember it through the images I created.

All of the care and thought that went into respecting their needs while still properly covering the story proved to have been a wise investment. Because the coverage was thorough but not insrusuve, I was succesful in meeting the needs and requirements of all involved.

The hard facts are that the images were not my best visual work. They were not the most technically creative. But looking back, I am still damn proud of them.

All photos ©2005 Lancaster Eagle-Gazette. All Rights Reserved.

ICY CRASH:

2005-12-07T23:17:00.000-05:00

Hocking County Medics work to free two adults who were seriously injured and one who sustained minor injuries after a car and school bus collided Monday Dec. 5, 2005 on Stage Road in Good Hope Township. The crash happened around 3 p.m. when a bus from the Logan Hocking school district collided with a Chrysler LeBaron on the one-lane township road. The two adults were flown by helicopter to Grant Medical Center in Columbus. The third was taken to Hocking Valley Hospital. The driver and passengers on the bus were not injured. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

A child watches as emergency personnel try to remove three adults from a car after the school bus he was riding in collided with a car Monday Dec. 5, 2005 on Stage Road in Good Hope Township. None of the children on the bus were hurt. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

2005-11-27T22:52:00.000-05:00

DON'T SPIN IT, DERAIL IT:

I spent the past week on vacation. I didn't go anywhere far or unique. I just spent time with my kids and took more time to look around.

As I read the newspapers, watched T.V. news and looked online, I was actually frustrated by how many news organizations were spinning the holiday shopping stories out of control.

What is it that makes editors so sure that the entire country needs to know why Jimmy and Jane began shopping at 5 a.m. Friday? Why do Ohioans care that two security guards tackled a man in Texas?

Tom Cook, of Fre Mar Road in Pleasant Township,
stands in front of a large tree that fell during the early morning hours
Thursday, Dec. 23, 2004, during an ice storm that came as part of a
large winter storm that rolled through the Midwest.
(Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

I think my major objection to the entire thing is the amount of manpower that is put into covering a story that benefits the retail stores. NOT ONE of the stories I saw gave me any useful information. It simply left me with a brief feeling that I was missing out on something important. I realized that, for the story of post-holiday shopping, the tail really is wagging the dog.

Too many times we talk about the stories we wish we could do. We say things like "If I only had the time." or "It's just not in the budget."

What if an editor decided to buck the system? What if the shopping story went inside and something more important went up front? What if, instead of paying staffers to be at the local mall at 7 a.m., an editor gave them time to report on something that usually falls prey to the excuses?

In the print business (because of the built-in time delay) we often talk about spinning the news forward. What can we do to make this useful when it is read tomorrow after they reader has seen the morning news?

I think we need to talk more about derailing the cliché stories to make way for things that really matter.

I don't need to know how many people turned out at JC Penney Friday. But I'd sure like to know what happened to the family whose home burned down last Thanksgiving. And I want to know whether they recovered (and how) or if are still in need of help.

2005-11-27T22:43:00.000-05:00

DIG IT:
Liberty Union plays volleyball Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2005 during their game against Bishop Ready in the Central District Sectional Volleyball Tournament at Pickerington High School North in Violet Township. Liberty Union won 3-0. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/NNCO)

2005-11-17T10:58:00.000-05:00

WORTH A PENALTY

The Ohio State Buckeyes' Ashton Youboty (26), right, blocks a pass to Northwestern's Ross Lane (89) and was subsequently penalized for holding Saturday, Nov. 12, 2005, during the Buckeyes last home game of the season inside Ohio Stadium in Columbus. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/NNCO)

2005-11-14T15:11:00.000-05:00

COMMITMENT KEPT

Just a quick look at my commitment to seeing the light...

Two Fisher Catholic football players run down the field Friday, Nov. 11, 2005 during their practice at Fisher Catholic High School in Lancaster. The team plays Saturday night against Newark Catholic in the Division VI regional semi-finals at Fairfield Union High School in Richland Township. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

A Fisher Catholic football player runs downfield Friday, Nov. 11, 2005 during their practice at Fisher Catholic High School in Lancaster. The team plays Saturday night against Newark Catholic in the Division VI regional semi-finals at Fairfield Union High School in Richland Township. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

2005-11-10T15:01:00.000-05:00

A BATTLE LOST:

Amy Cook, left, 33, sits with her son, Gavin Cook, 6, Wednesday, at their home, in Baltimore. Both have survived previous battles against cancer. Amy is undergoing chemotherapy as she endures her third round with the disease that is now in her liver. Gavin was born with a form of cancer that attacks the neurological system. He is now stable. Update 11/8/05: Amy died today as the cancer's most recent assault overcame her bod's ability to fight.

About a year ago, I worked with a reporter on a story about cancer survivors. Amy & Gavin Cook were two of them.

As I crossed the newsroom last night, I was handed a photo to scan for an obituary. This is a typical part of my daily work life. What was not typical was that I immediately recognized the person in the photo. It was Amy.

At first I was truly saddened. Learning of a death, at first, will make almost anyone regret that someone is gone.

As the night went on, I looked at Amy's obit photo. I also looked at the photo I took (above) and remembered what it was like to speak with her about her disease. She was very strong.

Amy knew that surviving to that point was already a victory. This was her third battle against a third kind of cancer. She had been through it before herself and with her son Gavin.

As we spoke, I realized that Amy saw the real value in life. She saw that your family and friends are the center of it all. She saw her successes and she celebrated them.

So now I feel a bit different. I still regret that Amy is gone. But I know that, in her case, she lived fully while she was here. I hope her family can draw from her strength and move forward with her in their hearts.

2005-11-03T08:46:00.000-05:00

SEEING THE LIGHT

I realized last week that I allowed myself to get into a bit of a tunnel vision. I was so caught up in the assignments and co-worker relations that I was not keeping my eyes open for the more subtle things on the job.

I am changing that.....

Sunlight slips between the clouds Wednesday, Oct. 26, 2005 as it hits shines behind a soybean field along Lake Road in Walnut Township. (Gannett News Service, William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

2005-10-17T23:57:00.000-04:00

STAGES OF A CAREER

I have recently noticed that I am in a stage of my career, and life, that I really had not thought about five years ago. I have reached the time where the family and work lives collide as hard as ever.

Certainly, some conflicts will remain as long as I am a journalist. Still, I think I am knee deep in the hardest part. Ironically, that realization makes things a lot better.

I think the typical journalist has 5 (or more) stages in their career.

1. The discovery.
This is when the person realizes that telling the stories of their community is what they want to do.

2. The education.
As journalists work through school, they are taught the basics fo writing, shooting and editing. All of these lessons are in a very controlled environment. Ethics are absolutes. Projects are re-worked until prefected. Time limited by how much you can invest. You can aford a lot.

3. The real world.
Once the student becomes a professional, the realities set in. The struggles to maintain one's ethics and quality standards are challenged by the requirements to do more work in less time. The consequences of failure are far more real than a poor grade.

4. Struggle for balance.
This is the stage where the realities are abundantly clear. The daily job comes naturally and you are now sharing experience with others. At the same time, you have outgrown the place where you are and seek upward mobility. That becomes a large challnge as the shallow job market hits hard.
This is also the stage where family becomes a real consideration when seeking to advance the career. The needs of the spouse and children require as much, or more, attention than the job. Balance is key.

5. ?
What do I know? I'm not there yet!
I may blog more about this later. It's late.

2005-10-08T00:24:00.000-04:00

Just a shot I was happy to get from a very mundane assignment.
Shane Casserly, 7, of Lancaster reacts Thursday after making a move
against John Paul Anders, of Lancaster, during their chess game
at the Fairfield County District Library in Lancaster.
(William P. Cannon, Lancaster Eagle-Gazette)

2005-10-07T23:21:00.000-04:00

Keeping up with the demands of today's work world is a challenge for everybody. We are all asked to perform more duties in less time than we had before. All that pressure can begin to wear journalists down.

I have written about personal issues before. In this message I want to explore how the wear and tear affects our professional life.

(This post is as much for myself as anything. So yes, I'm getting on the soapbox. No, I have not perfected this. Yes, I’m bummed out right now.)

I believe there is a condition that affects all of us from time to time. It is workplace depression. This is not a clinical diagnosis. It’s just the way I describe the feelings you get when things go beyond one bad day. If you or a co-worker are hanging on by your fingernails, here are a few things we all need to keep in mind.

- A little recognition goes a long way.

You don't have to be a supervisor to tell someone they did something well. My co-worker Ken always takes time to look at the newspaper. Not only does he think critically about it, but he also takes notice of things others have done well. The best part for me is that, as a photojournalist, Ken knows how troublesome certain assignments can be. He can often see a gem hidden in the mediocrity of the overall story.

- Invest in yourself and others

When we consider buying a home we look for one to keep. Then we maintain it by doing daily, monthly and annual maintenance. Occasionally we remodel and upgrade things.

This is the same approach we need to take with people. Check in regularly with minor tips to improve daily work. Meet quarterly to discuss progress on goals and maintain on course. At least once a year, let the person choose a quality training course and pay for them to attend.

- Pick your battles.

We’d love to say that we put the very best of ourselves into every part of our work. If that were once true, it is nearly impossible anymore.

Choose the tasks that will be beneficial to all parties and focus the energy there. Some things will make you look good, some will make the boss look good and some will just satisfy the reader. It’s all about balance.

- Remember why you are there

Most photojournalists entered the profession because they have a deep belief that the job is important to humanity. I agree. Still, we have to remember that it is also work. Sometimes work sucks. That’s why it’s not called vacation. When you can’t stand the daily grind, take a breath, call it work, remember someone you love and move on.

2005-09-25T15:33:00.000-04:00

***Ethics in a Small Town***

Poll worker Jean Evans, left, 69, counts the total votes placed in the Am-B precinct while Ada Bradney, 61, packs up the voting booths Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2004, inside the Amanda fire department, in Amanda, Ohio. (William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could go on for pages on this topic but I will restrain myself to one current issue that I am trying to balance.

In November our small city, like many others, will have elections for city council. In the past I have voted but it has been hard to be well educated about the topic. This year things are different.

Having worked the second shift for more than a year now, I am well aware of the people on our council and how they conduct their business. I keep my personal opinions out of my work, but when it comes to an election my vote is all about my opinions.

Thus the dilemma...

One of my close friends is running for city council president. She is extremely intelligent and is very good at thinking problems through to a good solution. I think she'd be great. Obviously, she has my vote.

The challenge is that I would really like to help her win. I am passionate about our democratic system and I'd really like to take an active part. Unfortunately, as a journalist, I am obligated to remain as neutral as possible. That means campaigning is out.

I know some people would say "Do it on your own time, that doesn't count." I disagree. Once someone knows you are on a side of an issue, you will never be seen as fair and impartial.

Be it resolved that I am not going to be going door-to-door, answering phones or shooting campaign photographs.

I have decided that there are some important ways that I can help. These are ways that are, on their own, a-political and do not concern me nearly as much.

I will provide childcare for those working on the campaign. I will offer off-the-record advice based solely on my own opinion and without specific campaign knowledge gained from my profession.

When all is said and done, I hope I can look back and believe that my choices were correct. What I do know is that I will still wish I could do more.

2005-09-22T03:47:00.000-04:00

Andy Taylor, 8, of Pickerington, makes his first ever ride on a horse Tuesday, Aug. 9, 2005 as the afternoon sunlight shines through the wall of the barn during the Pickerington Parks Department's week-long camp at New Beginnings Stables in Liberty Township. (William P. Cannon/Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette)

I read a great discussion post by newsphotoken and I replied right away. After writing that tome of a reply, I realized that I had poured out something I really wanted to write about here. So, I am being cheap and posting it here too.

------
-Two Thoughts on Feature Art-

FIRST:
I think a glut of published feature shots is a problem. In fact it is usually an indication of poor planning somewhere along the way.

In my case, when I do have to roam, it is because I have nothing on my "oh shit" list that I keep for slow days.

The problem for many photographers is that the planning can only be done with time. Many editors see us as in-and-out journalists who can cover six assignments on a Saturday and make it all look good.

Planning. An hour in the office can easily save three on the road.

SECOND:

I gotta get wordy on ya for a bit…. Think of it as a St. Olaf story with a real point.

What I like about feature art is that it gives the photojournalist a chance to keep balance for the newspaper and him/herself.

As Ken mentioned in a previous post, breaking news is not easy. It comes with a lot of emotional baggage that we must cope with.

When I was an intern for the Virginian Pilot in Nags Head, N.C., I covered a crash that killed 10 (yes ten) teenagers in a Ford Explorer. It was awful. I was sent from an assignment at the beach. I was wearing sandals and when I was done at the crash, I had blood on my bare toes.

When I returned to the bureau, I was alone. (It was late.) I submitted my art and went home. I slept very little that night.

The next day, I came in to work and my assignment box was empty. That had never happened. "Uh oh" I thought.

I went to see the Chief Photographer Drew Wilson to find out what I was scheduled to do. That is when I was presented with one of the best coping mechanisms I have ever seen in this business.

He said, “You have one assignment today. You are to spend all day working on it. Go out and shoot the opposite of what you saw yesterday.”

I was a bit baffled. “What type of shot are you looking for?” I asked. “Where is it running?”

Drew replied, “That is up to you. Only you can decide.”

And with that I spent and entire day thinking about the tragedy of the previous day and what could really be placed opposite it.

By the end of the day, I had shot many images. None were great. All were usable. It wasn’t until I got home for the night that I realized what a favor Drew had done for me. He prescribed what I now call “Wild Art Therapy” and gave me a chance to process the emotions from the previous day and balance them with the reality of a crisp new day.

So…. Back to feaure or wild art.

When I am sent out to scour the community, I try to make myself aware of what we shocked ourselves or our readers with in today’s paper. If I can get a nice feature that touches their soul, maybe I too can offer up some “Wild Art Therapy.”

2005-09-22T00:41:00.000-04:00

Being a photojournalist is something that I treasure. Photographs are how I best communicate the events I see. My co-worker and I both write 2 or more stories each week that are paired with a photo package we shoot. For me it is the visual aspects that dominate my thoughts and that get more of my time.

Last night I was able to turn that pattern upside down and I found it quite an enjoyable exploration.

I was traveling back to the office from an assignment about 25 miles away when I began to hear a lot of scanner traffic about a person fleeing from deputies on foot. I missed the initial dispatch so I had no idea where it was. I chose to continue to drive toward the center of the county.

As I traveled I made some mental notes about what I heard. No street names or major landmarks, but the radio traffic was very broken with quick cuts in and out. I was sure they were somewhere on the SW corner of the county and I was really curious. Still, I heard nothing that indicated anything visual was going on.

As I headed that way, I got a “gift from the photo gods” as a professor of mine used to say. An additional unit was sent to assist and he had heard none of the previous traffic. They gave him (and me) a complete update.

It was a burglary in progress during which the resident came home and fought with the suspect. The guy had gotten away on foot and a search was underway.

I should note that in a metro area, this is NOT news. In rural Ohio, where people feel so safe they do not lock their doors, this is certainly news.

I arrived on the scene ready to shoot. I had my gear in hand and, through the dark night, I found my way to a familiar deputy who gave me the current situation. Bottom line: the action was over. The suspect got away. The resident had nothing to say and begged not to be photographed.

(When it comes to crime, it is extremely rare that I push a victim into anything. After all, they did not ask to be involved in the incident.)

For a moment I decided to pack it in, return to work and get out early. Then, my conscience and my journalistic drive flogged me upside the head.

I tell people we are photojournalists not photographers. Would a reporter just walk away? Hell no! And neither did I.

Instead, I gave myself permission to put away the camera and approach the story solely as a written journalist.

I asked normal questions and waited a lot (as usual) but I was able to do more than my typical coverage. Because I was not engaging my brain in a quest to find something visual, I was able to think about how I’d write visual. I was able to take the time to note some of the smaller details that I often miss because I am multitasking.

Another difference was the ease with which I could approach people. I could keep a note pad in my pocket and whip it out as needed without scaring the victims to whom I really wanted to talk.

After waiting and talking to deputies over a period of about 40 minutes, it was clear I had all I could glean from them. They were very forthcoming but there wasn’t that much to say.

I decided to take one last crack at the victim.

Carefully, and in plain view, I approached him and his family. With a gentle tone I said “I’m gonna head out and leave you. I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything you wanted to say.”

The man looked at me for a moment and said “Yea, I’ll talk to ya.” He proceeded to tell me his whole story, on the record.

This was far from my first interview at a breaking news scene. Still, I have always had a camera on my shoulder and an eye scanning the scene. This time, I could think differently. My questions were better. My attention to the story was much better. Even my notes were better.

I wish I could finish this post by saying I won a Pulitzer for a perfect story. No way. In the end, it really was just a story about a rural burglar who got away. It was well written but nothing remarkable.

The difference for me was the process. I was able to awaken a tired and poorly utilized part of my journalistic soul and let it fly solo, for a night. It felt really good.

Now, where’d I leave that Domke bag?

Here is the aforementioned story.

2005-09-11T00:28:00.000-04:00

What, for me, is the job all about?

I haven't lost site of why I went into photojournalism. I saw, at the young age of 12, the amazing effect that a photograph could have on someone. I saw the truths that one image could tell beyond any printed or spoken word. I understood then, as I do now, that a good photojournalist can bring about change in the world by capturing strong images that tell the stories of real people.

For the past fifteen years, I have been striving to reach a personal goal with my photojournalism. It isn't an title. It isn't an award. (I rarely enter competitions.) I just want to know that I am consistently producing images that are compelling, sensitive and creative. I want to feel proud of those images. I want to know that the huge commitment of time by myself and my family has made life better for someone.

For me it really is about truth, freedom and the love of living.

I am at a crossroads.

In my 30's - o.k. by me (Can't change it anyway!)
Married - Happily (Most of the time ;)
Two kids - amazing and inspiring
Expecting another - exciting and still a bit frightening (Now they'll outnumber us.)
In Debt - Scary. I know, who isn't? But I can only look down through the hole I am in and it's a long way to the top.
Schedule - Horrible 2nd shift hours at work after giving GOOD care to my children all day.
Pay - Not enough to support my family. Wife works days and I work 2nd shift. TIRING!

Given all of the above, I think it is logically clear that I am pretty damn lucky. Particularly in the family department. Yet, I am barely breathing under the weight of the decisions my future holds.

It has been eight years that my wife and family have tolerated the voluminous crap that photojournalism brings home. Lousy hours, low pay, expenses that come out of pocket, and an attitude by many that "that's just the way it is" makes all the wrongs o.k.

Time and again I have said that the next stop holds the promise of a new and better place to practice my heart felt calling. (I do strongly belief I was meant for this career.) Each time we move, my wife places her trust in my words that "it will be o.k."

I am at the point where I can no longer expect my wife and children to toddle behind me as I try to reach a jpb that opens the doors to the career I so desperately want. I just can't say "hang in there" anymore.

I do not, for a moment, expect to get rich and famous. They can really keep the famous. I just want to go to work, work hard, usually come home on time and earn enough to pay all the bills and the student loan debt.

I have reached the point in my life where, in the next few weeks, I may have to choose between family and career. I don't mean the small ones about birthday parties vs. traveling with the Buckeyes. I mean a decision that is for all the marbles in the jar.

This is where the irony of life is so very sharp. The choice is so very simple. Where do I get unending support, love, tolerance, encouragement, praise, honest criticism, faith, friendship and trust? My family. It sure as hell isn' t the newsroom where family is a four letter "F- word."

The decision makes my heart ache. I feel sad, embarrassed, disappointed in myself, angry,(yea, a lot of that in a non-violent way) confused and mostly betrayed.

How can a vocation that I entered and practiced with such altruistic intentions leave me feeling like a whore? All of the moments of life that I captured feel like moments of betrayal from the business to me and thus to my subjects. The people in my images trusted me too. They "hung in there" as I documented their pain and suffering so that others could learn and more pain could be avoided. Yet, in the end, I watched editors with little PJ knowledge butcher the images and defeat the purpose of the story while holding me at work to spend hours on a story that won't run or will run with no space for the art.

I feel cheap and used but the alternatives are not promising. Imagine a guy who works on the street photographing fires, crashes, football games, life changing features and the occasional mug shot. Now envision him sitting inside a classroom, behind a counter or cubicle or answering a customer service line. It's not a good fit. I do know in what environment I belong. I just don't know where it is. PJ is in my blood.

I want to make pictures. I want to make a difference. I know I can. But has my opportunity passed? When does my wife come first? When do I get to kiss my kids goodnight again?

Damn, it is late and I am exhausted. Being a basket case isn't easy you know.

Hey it's Sept. 11, 2005. It is the four-year anniversary of 9/11 and my accepting my current job. It sure has been a long road since then. Please, pray for peace and tolerance.

2005-09-07T21:09:00.000-04:00

I just returned from a 2-hour Red Cross meeting that I was covering for the newspaper. I have spent so much of my life documenting the tragedies of others and I rarely get a chance to help. Now, as I sit here, I am feeling so drawn to volunteer to help. I feel a pull inside me as if to say "it's time to pay back what has been gifted to you." The problem is that I cannot think of a way to break free of my job or my family.

This seems to be one of the personal challenges of journalism that can really eat at those reporting. Most of us want to do tell the stories of other people because we feel compassion and want to help. We work under that notion that, by telling a tragic, heroic or amazing story, we will be able to take a moment in someone's life and make it matter more. We can take a fatal crash and try to glean some life lesson out of it that our readers can take with them as they head out into their day. Of course, we never know if it works because we don't, and can't, report on something that doesn't happen. we just usually have faith that the message will be delivered to the correct recipient.

I think I am at a point in my career where I need to know I am helping someone. I need to know that the long hours I spend at work while neglecting and missing my family are accomplishing something. This is why tonight's meeting struck home. I saw a chance to truly help someone. I could put my experience in covering traumatic situations to use. I could do something that WILL, not might, make a difference.

2005-09-03T09:06:00.000-04:00

My first solo Friday night of this year passed without major incident. When one of us (we have only 2 photographers) is off, the other gets hammered. I count myself lucky that the night went very smooth and that I had a little bit of daylight to use at the first game.

Even though we still are underequipted, I still shoot as if I had the long glass. I guess I need to know my timing is on even if the moment is so far off that I could never crop that much.

I have been shooting Friday night football for 15 years and I still get a little nervous. I think it is mostly because I do not have the gear I need so the smallest problem throws off the whole thing. I need a 300/ f2.8 and an Underdog for the strobe. I also really miss my fanny pack.

2005-08-31T14:44:00.000-04:00

I am really slugish this week but I am trying to get inspired by looking at things I have done in the past year that I like. It may seem a bit self centered but I need to see what "I" can do and where I need to go.

I am soooo ready for a change in my career but it is much easier said than done. I have been at my job for 4 years and I just cannot grow any further at this location. I am trying to move to another site in the company but the competition is fierce in this biz and I have a family to look after.

Speaking of family, my wife is pregnant for the third time. No pressure from that angle ;)

I updated my site to include some recent photos. I am pleased with what I have to show but I know that I can do much better if I was provided the gear and time required. I just can't get that idea all the why through to the top.

I'd love to hear opinions about my site. I will be posting pics here soon.

http://www.americanphotojournalist.com/member.php?user=newsfotos

2005-08-23T20:27:00.000-04:00

My First Post

It seems every time my friend and co-worker Ken finds a cool thing, I come sailing in behind to join up too.

Here again I sound my yalp "Me too!!"

I have been looking at Ken's online blog and I have found it interesting, thought provoking and inspiring. I hope to share my thoughts and images here also. I plan to be rather relaxed with what I post. The portfolio site is for the best stuff.

And now... on with the show.